New Year

I’m not normally one for the New Year. The thing is, that it’s usually a time for goal-setting and reflection on the year’s achievements, which I absolutely loathe. Nothing like being too ill to do everything you wanted in an ENTIRE 365 DAYS and then looking back on it with complete regret! So I usually […]

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SURGERY #2: The Aftermath

A photo of a bag of dextrose hanging on an IV pole.

When we last left off, I was fresh out of surgery and my mental state was precarious at best. Read on to discover just how low I sunk… and how high I have risen since!

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SURGERY #2: Pre- and Post-Op

An operating theatre with surgeons performing surgery on a patient. Several medical monitoring machines can also be seen in the room.

I’ve been gone a while, but with good reason! I had emergency surgery at the start of November. It was a whirlwind of a weekend, but I thought I ought to record it – so here’s what happened, Friday to Sunday.

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Hello, Hickman: Insertion + Healing

An empty operating table with several screens surrounding it.

How is it that the words ‘nil by mouth’ manage to trigger the most intense hunger and thirst you’ve ever known? I’m uncomfortably hungry and, consequently, uncomfortably cranky. Every minute seems to stretch on for eternity, but also fly by like a loosed arrow. Time seems to loop back on itself like a Möbius strip, […]

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Another Orbit

A hand grasping a bunch of balloons of varying colours.

Happy birthday to me! If you follow me on Instagram (or Twitter), you’ll have seen that I’m currently in hospital. What a way to spend your 21st birthday, eh? Shackled to an IV pole in the hospital.

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…and getting it back again

A hand, emerging from a body of water, clutching a lit sparkler.

Happy belated World IBD Day! What better time to get back into blogging? If you read my last post, you’ll know that I was in a bad place in the early months of the year. Now? Well, not much has actually changed, honestly. I’m still experiencing the same symptoms as ever. Infliximab might as well be saline for all the good it’s done me, after six months/five infusions. Exam season is upon us, stress is oozing out of my every pore, and I have an MRI booked for June because my bloods aren’t showing any kind of improvement. By rights, I ought to be feeling as terrible as I did in February. But now things feel different, and I’m in a better position to explain exactly what was going on in my head then (and now!). I want to document everything – the good and the bad – and that starts with explaining why I’ve been so silent these last few months.

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On Losing Hope

An image of a girl sitting at the edge of a cliff, staring into the valley below. Photo by Casey Horner of Unsplash.

This is probably the darkest – and most honest – post I’ve written in a while. Content warning for depression and mention of death, and my apologies in advance for the florid turns of phrase I use to describe abstract concepts. I’ve been quiet lately. Christmas came and went – I had a beautiful, rejuvenating […]

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October 2018

WHERE did this month go? No, seriously, where? If you know, please tell me. Actually, don’t, because there’s no point: we’ve reached the end of October! There’s no going back now. It’s the start of November and (yes, I’m one of THOSE people) I’m ready to get Christmassy! But first, here’s how this month has […]

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Looking Back… and Looking Forward

Photo by Emma Matthews on Unsplash.

Ten months ago, I would have said that 2017 was the worst year of my life, but that I was hopeful about 2018. Well, move over, 2017, because 2018 has officially pushed you off the podium. This has been the worst year of my life. I don’t want to make it sound as though I consider each […]

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Gastroenterology Appointment: September 2018

Okay, so, here’s the tale from my updates post that I started to write, before realising it was waaaaay too long and it would need its own post. I always think “oh, nothing much happened,” and then I start writing and actually A LOT HAPPENED. But, spoiler: we’re still no further forward than we were […]

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